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no lies, just love

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Christa's LJ is now friends only! [17 Feb 2007|04:44am]
I have decided to make my LJ friends only. I am not sure the public can handle my emo-ness...and my extreme excitement about certain subjects ;-)

So please add me. I will warn you that I update quite often. Enjoy some of my fav quotes by Brian Andreas~

"This is a wheelbarrow I filled with all my dreams & my favorite clothes & now all I need is someone to help me push it."

"She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short."

"This is a machine that takes your life & does all the hard parts & leaves you all the parts you enjoy & almost everyone discovers they're not the parts you'd think they were at first glance"

"Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life."
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[29 Jan 2007|01:47am]
so today was a good day but alas I am too tired to write about it and I will now go to bed...
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[23 Jan 2007|11:12am]
eventually I will be writing a letter post before I leave but for now I thought I would at least say that I am in Baldwin 326 and I believe I am living with Melanies old roommate. Interesting.
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Yay for surveys! Somewhat long... [18 Jan 2007|12:33am]
So tonight I was driving home from work and I heard “To Be With You” by Mr. Big and I felt all of these wonderful emotions. It is a song I had completely forgotten about but I knew by heart (I’m sure you all do…or you should) and it brought back all of these memories. So…I decided to make a survey about songs.

Music is a way I have been able to track my life and past. Certain songs evoke certain emotions and I can usually remember when I first heard that song or a certain event that happened around it. I decided to take a random sampling from my music collection (I got my songs by looking at my play count on Windows Media Player…so all of these songs have been listened to 9 times since I loaded them on my computer) but you might find an easier way.

Take 5-15 random or specific songs and talk about any of the following:
1) the first time you remember hearing that song
2) the emotions it provokes
3) what memory/person you connect with that song
4) something of your choosing




I am tagging these people because I think they are either really into music and will enjoy doing it, like to analyze life and the past, and/or have spare time to waste:
geekyfruitdork
moufle
plantingseeds
totheliving
starryskies

feel free to do it if you want, I just thought these ppl might possibly do it
2 comments|post comment

empty... [09 Jan 2007|12:44am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

today was really awful and draining for me. I might write about it tomorrow, we will see. short story- i went to my former university and that was heavy (that is the best word to describe it) and while I was in the city I also said good-bye to my niece and nephew and had an awkward meeting with my sister.

tonight katie called me and we had a great convo. she really lifted my spirits up. i really can't say this enough: I am soooo grateful for my friends, I am almost sure I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for the people that always seem to come through for me...sap

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[08 Jan 2007|03:29pm]
you know what is pissing me off at the moment??? There are no books listed for any of my classes on the stupid bookstore site! I want to order my damn books before I spend more money on movie rentals!!! Frustration.
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If you don’t read any other post by me you should probably read this one… [04 Jan 2007|12:23am]
please please look over these, they are amazing songs in my opinion (plus I might have dedicated one to you)



asdfasdf
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Top Songs of 2005 [04 Jan 2007|12:20am]
so in case anyone was interested here is
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uggg [02 Jan 2007|12:10am]
[ mood | sick ]

i need to update but alas i have a really bad case of the stomach flu and don't have enough energy to fornm complete sentences....

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[21 Dec 2006|11:36pm]
[ mood | sad ]

my turtle Herbert died today. I was kind of expecting it, he has been getting weak for awhile now. I guess at least I don't have to haul him back to Drew.

36 days til Drew...can't wait

3 comments|post comment

[22 Nov 2006|05:09pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

I'm taking a page out of Andrea's book...

Even though this year has probably been the hardest in my life, I still have a lot to be thankful for, I am lucky to be alive and Thanksgiving helps me remember that people DO care about me. So here it goes:

I'm thankful/Thanks:
*for my sight
*for family members who support me fully no matter what I choose and want me to be happy
*for healthy children
*for my friend who loved me enough to tell me to get help, even if we don’t speak much anymore
*for my sister, for growing closer and keeping me floating
*for wonders
*for the little things
*for my bus buddies
*for Stuart, I’m so glad you’re alive
*for cooking in my own kitchen
*for the bus
*for words of encouragement
*for allowing me to be myself
*for caring enough to keep in touch, every time I hear from you my day is 50x better
*for keeping me alive
*for giving me something to come back for
*for opening your arms to me
*that this semester is almost over 
*for providing a place where I feel welcome
*for a creative outlet
*for understanding
*for seeming to generally care, even if I only come in for a soda or chips
*for crying when you saw me
*for hugs
*for considering me your queen fag hag, it makes me proud
*for my non-sexual soul mate, I will never find anyone else like you, except maybe with my sexual soul mate
*for the cathartic melodies and harmonies and lyrics
*the strength to survive, even though I don’t want to sometimes
*you’re why I hope

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[16 Nov 2006|12:57am]
if you aren't all aware already there is a LJ secret about Drew in tonights submission...check it out:

http://community.livejournal.com/ljsecret/123153.html?view=49579025#t49579025
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[11 Nov 2006|01:33pm]
for all those unaware I am at Drew until Tuesday so if you want to see me you should give my cell a call (218-849-6865) or stop by Holloway 2nd where I am staying Katie and Katie...or maybe I will see you when I am out and about and then you should give me a big hug...haha.
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[27 Sep 2006|11:21pm]
[ mood | drained ]

i am giving up LJ for an extended period of time...I might possibly read some entries by people but in general they tend to make me depressed and realize what I am missing so au revoir...I might be back

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oh surveys... [21 Sep 2006|11:53pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

10 years ago: Hmm...I was nine...in 4th grade...in about a month I would find out my sister was pregnant and was moving out (she was 18). My teacher was the fabulous Mrs. Grabow. I had a strong group of girl friends...hmmm...i was happy


5 years ago: I was in ninth grade. I joined FCCLA this year...along with the other 20 things I was in...I had about 4 really close friends in my group...my friend Seng moved to my school and I had a big crush on him...haha

1 year ago: One year ago I had just started Drew but I already loved it. My classes were going okay and my friends were great...I know I was a lot happier than I am now.

Tomorrow: I have a french exam and then I am going home to spend the weekend with the whole immediate family one last time before my brother leaves again for Europe (this time he is teaching for a year in Spain)

5 Snacks I Enjoy: cheese, corn bread, chips, pop, sweet oatmeal

1 Band/Artist that i know the lyrics to most of their songs: All-American Rejects...I think I know all of them...maybe Dashboard...

5 things i would do with 1,000,000,000: I would return to Drew and and save a bit of it just in case I really need it. I would give my sister money because she needs it more than I do. I would donate a lot of it to my high school district which is falling apart due to lack of funding. The rest of the money would go towards charity work in some of the most poverty stricken countries...oxfam, Human Rights Watch or Amnesty International perhaps...who knows...but I want it to go to someone who really needs it.

5 Places i would like to run away to: drew, India, France, UK, and Germany

5 bad habits i have: procrastinating, obsessing over things that I don't always have much control over, messiness, rambling, getting overemotional

5 things i like doing: listening to music, reading, watching movies, dancing, being with close friends

5 things i will never wear: cowboy boots, animal print, mini-mini skirt, spandex, up-turned collar

5 tv shows i like: Sex and the City, Judging Amy, Crossing Jordan, Friends, Six Degrees (I only saw the first episode...but its not so bad so far)

5 People i'd like to meet: i really don't know...

5 biggest joys at the moment: sleeping, working out with my sister, walking alone, getting email from friends, umm...not many joys at the moment I guess...haha

5 favorite toys: laptop, Eeyore, my MuVo, my cell, my pillow(I couldn't think of a last one...haha)

consider yourself tagged if anyone is interesting in doing this...but yeah...

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[11 Sep 2006|12:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Okay so this weekend I watched the LOTR trilogy again and hello! I never noticed before how gay it is, I was like...come on! Just make out already...which made me decide to do some research and I found this and I was so shocked/almost fell off my bed laughing it is so ridic...check it out:

Christian Moviegoers Beware!
The Two Towers is Homo Slang For Erect Hobbit Penises

Important Notice For Christian Parents

The new movie, The Two Towers makes up for its lack of on screen sex scenes with some of the most horrifying, blood wrenching violence ever to splatter the silver screen. "That's why, at first glance, the film is very appealing to True Christians®," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "However, we must be careful not to get overly excited about movies that come so close to depicting what our loving Lord Jesus has in store for sinners. Christians know that nothing man could ever conceive on film will ever match the glorious barbecue of burning flesh that God has promised for all those who don't worship Jesus. I doubt Hollywood could ever litter a whole valley with hacked up pieces of human flesh and body parts, or fill a river with the hot, fresh steaming blood of the unsaved. Only the Lord can do that! And the Bible tells us He will! As True Christians®, we are promised front row seats for that glorious show. And the price for admission was covered 2,000 years ago by Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection!   And friends, the reviews for that show, even though it hasn't happened yet, are already in.  And they are raves.  Five stars! You see, the Lord's Word tells us that once the world is covered with rotting corpses, saved Christians will "rejoice over them and make merry, and shall send gifts to one another"(Revelation 11:5-10)."  Praise!  Now, as a True Christian, that is the type of spoiler I don't mind!  I think I speak for all Baptists when I say, 'Bring on the rotting bodies, sweet Jesus!'"

Pastor Deacon Fred went on to note that although the violence in The Two Towers film is some of the best he's ever seen outside of the Holy Bible, that the hidden sexual agenda in the movie makes it unwatchable to anyone other than a qualified minister of God.

Pastors who were allowed to see the first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, remember that toward the end, one of the male hobbits (which is slang for "homo boy with a little bitty [insert unchristian word here] hanging between his legs") fell so much in love with the main character, Frodo (another male hobbit), that he committed the ultimate homosexual sacrifice by ruining his hairdo and nearly drowning himself to prove his loyalty. Although sodomy is now suggested in nearly every scene where the two creatures appear together, thankfully, the producers leave the disgusting homosexuality (which was so much a part of the novels) off camera. There are some scenes where the hobbits appear together in one sleeping bag and a lewd discussion about what sinful act led to both their palms and feet becoming so hairy, but that's about it.  “By moving dozens of deviant sex scenes between those hairy little perverts off screen, the producers were able to achieve a PG13 rating," says Pastor Deacon Fred.  "And make no mistake, my dear friends; here at Landover Baptist, PG means 'pretty gay.'"

Although we don't know too much about the director of The Two Towersmovie, we are told that he was plucked from the overweight, unkempt men with glasses who play Dungeons and Dragons and live in their mother's basement crowd. This type of person is part of a dangerous and destructive class of sissified sex-perverts who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Their type force American Christians to participate in their make believe worlds by creating movies, online role-playing games, and books of fiction. "If we could only get these fat little momma's boys to take a bath and sit in a Baptist Church on a Sunday Morning, they would be able to hear true stories from the Holy Bible about talking snakes (Genesis 3:1), a time when giants roamed the Earth (Genesis 6:4), a guy who stops the sun from moving(Joshua 10:12-13), folks who routinely live to be 900 years old (Genesis 5:2-32), people who can open up whole seas like a zipper (Exodus 14:26-28), folks who camp out in whale's stomachs (Matthew 12:40), flying horses (2 Kings 2:11), gentlemen who are able to live inside furnaces (Daniel 3), stinky rotting corpses that jump out of graves (John 11:39-44), and swimming seven headed fire breathing leopards sent to destroy the world, (Revelation 13:1-10)" says Pastor Deacon Fred. "And then maybe these sweaty little four-eyed plumpers would stop making up silly fantasy films and start churning out movies based on factual events from the Holy Bible.

We can't expect secular film critics to understand what Satan is doing with this movie. They don't have the scholarly Christian background necessary to understand all the nuances of God's otherwise seemingly insane Word.  For example, that popcorn-munching, Junior Mints inhaling slob, Roger Ebert,NEVER attended vacation Bible school.  And that swishy Jew, Leonard Maltin, never had the Holy Spirit hovering over his shoulder to help him read between the lines and see that the love affair between the hobbits, Frodo and Sam, mirrors the strained homosexual relationship between J.R.R. Tolkien and his English lover, Theologian, C.S. Lewis.

As True Christians® we make it our business to investigate the personal lives of famous people who claim to be Christians. As we understand it, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy is riddled with hints and clues of secret meeting places in Oxford, where Tolkien and Lewis would shed their garments between classes and put their hands where even a man's tailor has no business! Of course, homosexuality is a common enough practice in English schools, as seen in the most recent Harry Potter film. Most young English boys try it anywhere from once to 15,000 times and are done with it, whereas Tolkien and Lewis continued their lecherous love affair well into their wrinkled old 80's. I thank the Lord Jesus on High that He hadn't invented Viagra until after those two randy old coots were safely dispatched to Hell. But in any event, one can only imagine how difficult it was for those two geezers to hide their secret lust while keeping up appearances in the Christian mainstream.  But we know from cases such as John Paulk, Director of Exodus International, that it is possible, even in these modern times, to fool the flock!

The very title of the film, The Two Towers, should raise suspicion among True Christians®. Secular humanists and Atheists always chide us for seeing sex where their foolish, ignorant minds cannot. But alas, it is there, raising its malignant form as usual. It's Satan's way of being childish, and it's our job to call him on it. This time around, you don't have to be a Bible Scholar or a Creation Scientist to see that The Two Towers are giant structures built to glorify and honor the aroused genitalia of two of the most powerful evil beings in the movie. The imagery is kept discrete only by the merciful fact that both creatures are uncircumcised – otherwise the shape of two enormous, throbbing purple penis heads would have been staring every moviegoer in the face!  The citizens of Middle Earth pick which penis they like best and head toward it. The Two Towers are merely there to show what the macabre genitalia of each Dark Lord looks like from great distances. And as anyone who has been in a men's locker room can attest, it is only the dark ones you can see from clear across the room.  Well, Satan, we're not laughing! You are sick, and your perverted, disgusting sense of humor has gone too far this time. True Christians® are not going to stand still and let you tempt us by appealing to our natural love of Godly, Bible-based human carnage only to sucker us into seeing a film that is nothing more than a vehicle to promote your twisted sexual agenda!  And I stand here firm before you to say: we will not allow you to wag ungodly enormous penises in the face of our women!

We need to mention here that most Christian movie critics believe that Satan instructed the director of the Two Towers to exhaust every available resource in order to find a way to promote his perverted sexual agenda. Viewers will be shocked to see scenes where Peter Jackson intentionally crosses the lines of moral decency by blurring the gender identity of the Dark Lord Sauron. "It's fairly clear that they are trying to get us to think of The Dark Lord Sauron as a man, and then that fat little pervert of a director peppers in the notion that he is also a woman, sort of like that Jamie Lee Curtis person," says Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Mr. Jackson keeps flashing this giant red vagina that almost looks like an eye, on the screen every time he makes reference to the Dark Lord. I believe that Satan, the Prince of Darkness, and Peter Jackson, the director of the Two Towers, are working very closely together on this project. They are using a new technique called, 'subliminal messaging,' which, last I heard, is illegal outside of churches in the state of Iowa."

We could go on forever about this movie, but there should be enough information at this point to stop True Christians® who were harboring plans to see the film. If you need further details and would like to read more on this subject, there is a 100-page pamphlet available. Copies may be purchased for $12.99 in the main lobby of the Landover Baptist Resort Tower & Hotel. The pamphlets are also available for purchase in the Narthex of the Main Sanctuary and the Fellowship Hall Bookstores of the Landover Baptist Church on the East and West Campuses. If you are in urgent need of the pamphlet before next weekend, they are also being made available in Leviticus Acres' Sportsman's Chapel and Chop House and in the Landover Christian Invitational Golf Course Pro-Shop. The three Christian bookstores at Landover Mall will not have the pamphlets until next Saturday. The information available in the pamphlet goes into detail about the intentional mockery of Christ and his resurrection in the reappearance of the sorcerer, Gandalf. It explains the implied bestiality that occurs off camera in the relationship between a man and an elf. The pamphlet also contains information about the races of middle earth that could prove helpful if you are witnessing to an unsaved person who has seen the film. Of particular interest is the greedy little Jewish dwarf, Gimli. There is also extended commentary by Pastor Deacon Fred on how Al Qaeda operatives were inspired by the Arabic translation of Tolkien's "The Two Towers," in determining the World Trade Center as their initial target.

I mean, do people like this exist....seriously? What is WRONG with people.  This article is so un-PC for its references to race, homosexulaity, Judiasm....I was so shocked....and people this is what really turns me away from organized religion....and I love the fact that True Christians is a copyrighted...haha....anyways...give me your opinions on this...I know it is long....but it is seriously worth the time (or really NOT worth the time if you think about it) if you like seeing the complete ignorance of people....goodness.....\

Oh and also, whenever I see Eowyn I think of Elysse....its uncanny....anyways....yeah
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[05 Sep 2006|11:31pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I am considering myself tagged by Sproffee...because I am bored and want to do this:

1. I like listening to Christmas music when its not Christmas (especially if its Christmas music from Love Actually)
2. I loves Chai tea....nummies
3. I love photography...especially black and whites....although I am not that great at it I would love to capture one of those *moments*, like the shot from VJ Day where the two people are kissing or the guys in NYC eating lunch on a beam....that everyone knows and it seems to capture the very essence of life...
4. Although I am very messy I could organize stuff all day
5. I get obsessed with things easily and tend to do that thing in a long streak, like reading  7 books in 7 days or scrapbooking for 5 whole days but then never finishing....
6. I would probably be perfectly happy being a recluse for a year...as long as I have books....and probably the internet...haha...is that still reclusive then???

tomorrow, once again, I will get my ass kicked in French...and then I have to somehow make it across campus in 15 minutes...if the prof lets us out in time...oh my...

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[05 Sep 2006|04:22pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Today was my first day of classes. French is going to kick my ass....and I have it EVERY day.  Environmental Issues I think will be a great class.  Being a transfer student is worse than being a freshman (which I actually liked).  I am going to make no friends, and I don't really want to.  I don't even want to put an effort into it.  I am not going to be here next semester anyways.  I have already decided that.  I don't know what I am doing, but not staying here.  Its just not me.  I will give it time, but I am not expecting much.

I miss Drew so much.  Today is Lisa's birthday and i wanted more than anything just to be there so I could give her a big hug and sit on my bunk and laugh with her.  How sweet is she? This is her facebook about me:


"...I was exactly what mothers had warned their sons against..."-Marge Piercy

In other news...I miss my Christa :)

And also? The facebook facelift? What the hell is up with that? granted some things are cool but I don't like the fact that it lists ended relationships and who friended who....first one because break-ups are bad enough without facebook listing it on all your friends sites and also who cares who is friends with who??

Anyways....I am sad.

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[25 Aug 2006|08:12pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Okay- So today i registered for classes. I ended up with classes I liked but i did have a to make a few changes. Here is a quick run-through of my classes:

Sociology of Gender
3rd year French
Repression and Democracy Around the World
Environmental Issues and Solutions
and last but not least:


The campus is a lot prettier than I thought, also soooo big.  its so odd to have classes in 6 different buildings, instead of 1...or 2.  

I saw my apartment last night.  Its okay, my room is small but I am glad I have a kitchen so I can make my own food, especially now that I don't eat meat.  I also met two of my roommates.  I have a feeling they don't really like me...that I am an intruder into their apartment of friends....meh.  I will stay out of their way.  I don't think I can stay here three years.  Who knows, maybe I will end up loving it, I should at least try.  

I am going to turn into the female version of greasy-hair-boy/shuffle-boy/neckbeard.  

I hate being the odd one out.  Like right now I am watching a movie with two couples.  I'm not really all that jealous, because although a relationship would be nice I am not craving one, I just feel awkward.  At least we are watching Jaws and not like The Notebook or something...haha.

Classes start in a little over a week, I have soooooo many books to get, its going to cost me a fortune.  I am also having financial aid issues, once again.  I thought if I went to a school with a tuition of 5,000 I wouldn't have this problem...but alas.
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[22 Aug 2006|09:28am]
anyone see the new facebook feature yet? I knew that they would add something like this eventually. I'm not really sure if I like it or not...I am leaning towards not...but who knows. Hmmmm.....
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